How to suck a mattress down to size

AN UPDATED NOTE: quite a few readers have contacted via the comments with questions about their own situation - will it work with this mattress so-and-so? Am I doing it right?  Why can't I get my back to shrink?  etc. etc. PLEASE NOTE - if you want to ask a question, please contact me via the contact form rather than post a comment, as these go unseen, and there is no way for me to reply to them. 

This article was written for memory foam mattresses. If you are trying it with a sprung mattress, I suspect it won't work. (But it does work with a futon! ) If you want to buy the items used, just try eBay. I did!

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I recently had the challenge of transporting a king size memory foam mattress. The choices seemed to be hire a van (or removal company) or somehow ram it into the Skoda Octavia in the hope it would bend and fit. I wasn’t over-keen on that option as it would mean leaving little room for anything else in the car.

Rewind and little, and the mattress originally came rolled up in a vacuum packed bag and box (which expanded with great amusement when sliced open). Could I therefore repeat this feat of wizardy and reverse the great unfolding? Well, I do like a challenge, especially when science is on my side.

I was inspired by those “vac pac” bags you can get that: you suck the air from a sealed polythene bag with your favourite dysonomatic and compress the contents down to an n-th their size. Seemed like a perfect solution but it didn’t take long scouring the internet to discover vac-pacs don’t come in that size (and if they did, they would cost a pretty penny).

So I figured I could make one. I ordered a king size mattress polythene bag, as used by removal companies for protection. That only cost a couple of pounds. Then I ordered a small vac-pac bag off eBay, which also costs under 2 pounds.

I wrapped the mattress in the large bag and sealed with gaffer & parcel tape. I cut out the valve from the vac pac and taped it to the inside of the large bag and sliced a hole to bring the valve through; and again, taped it up as airtight as I could. (see picture)

Then, with the help of my able assistant, we attached a vacuum cleaner and began sucking the air from the mattress bag. It compressed beautifully. We kept going (somewhat startled by how effective it was) until the mattress was thin enough to start rolling; stopping every once in a while to listen for leaks (very obvious hissing!) and sealing them with parcel tape. Then I rolled the mattress and stood it on end. The bag was still a bit leaky so we continued vacuuming while I wrapped it in tape to keep the roll shape intact.

It worked a treat, you can see the mattress loaded in the car and also 24 hours later when it was unpacked, still pretty much roll shaped! Gotta be one of the best 4 quid I have spent!

A paper-free birthday

It wasn't specifically intentional, but my recent birthday was almost paper free. 

Just over a decade ago I decluttered the musical part of my life. That was when I made the decision to rid myself of CDs (well, the visible ones) and go "MP3". Embrace the digital revolution, as it were.  

They were fairly early days then for such a move - a collection of nearly 1000 CDs is pushing 100Gb of storage. iPods of the day were, well barely emerging to be honest - 1Gb first generation MP3 players were flavour of the day. Hard disks were not much better - a 100Gb disk was pretty expensive; I think I paid about £250 for a 160Gb disk.  

Nonetheless, I threw myself into it and a first generation Squeezebox gave me wireless network access to all my music. Finally, I had flexibility to listen to my music anywhere and a wallful of free space in the living room. It re-released the joy in all the music I was never getting round to listen to. 

A decade on and the wheel comes full circle. 

This time it's the books and the bookcase. 

It's full of books, full of love, full of joy, but so much of it is unread. This, for me, is the perfect time to embrace the Amazon Kindle. To squeeze a few hundred books from my private collection onto a paperback sized device and keep going for years to come until I reach about 3000. 

Sure, it's not as splendid to look at, not as charming to flick through with your head tilted sideways over dinner. But it does mean there is a chance I'll do a bit more reading in those precious seconds roaming the country. I might, for example, use the text-to-speech option to listen to my books in the car. 

So, it was for my 40th birthday that I put out the broadcast that Amazon vouchers were the thing to get me. I wouldn't be impresssed with anything tangible or physical. And the response was surprisingly beautiful - and handful of amazon vouchers in my email right there on the morning of my birthday. Even one from my Grandma, who has never been near a computer or the interbookfacewebthingy. (Thanks Mum). I was able to go straight ahead and order my Kindle there and then. Not a jot of paper changed hands.

 

I'd like to think it was a lower carbon footprint birthday, though I can't be totally sure (Amazon might have made the Kindle itself in outer Galactica and shipped it via their hub in Timbuktu). I'm sure it WILL be over the lifetime of the Kindle though - fewer trees will certainly go to the great big Gutenberg in the sky. Though this time round I'm unlikely to stash my bookshelves in the loft - they'll just become a fossil record where they stand.

I wonder what will go digital in another 10 years time?

Not Resolutions, compass setting

I've never really been into New Year's Resolutions, possibly because they seem a bit arbitrary to me. That is to say, if you want to change something or improve your life, one could just get on a do it, rather than rely on some fairly arbitrary calendarisation to provide the excuse to do it. (This is perhaps because I tend to love nature's number patterns, rather than man's)

On the other hand, with some Christmas time off work, there's a natural pause to reflect on life's events past and (hopefully) future. Here are a few of my ponderings - I'll use them to set my "compass" rather than create goals I may subsequently fail at. 

More love, laughter & happiness - this is pretty much the standard one, who doesn't want this? It comes in many many guises. 

Skype my niece more often - it's so easy to miss youngsters growing up, it happens so fast. Must try to do it weekly. Have installed the latest skype App on my iphone which now supports video.

Achieve more with my artistic photography. Through 2010 brushstrokes has been successful and rewarding, now with a 4-figure fan base on facebook, a gallery of hundreds of images, collaborations with other photographers and amateur models. It has also confirmed my deep love of photography, which has also been recognised this year: I was selected by the photography company Tiffen as their 'featured imagemaker'. In 2011 I'll explore options to expand my Scottish photography.

Get the work life balance under control. Where to live, where to work? Burning questions for the average mid-lifer. It's no secret that I feel a draw to my homeland of Scotland - so in the long term I need to figure out how this could potentially happen. My work pattern is not ideal either.

Keep my weight under control. In 2010 I managed to lose of 2 Stones that had crept up on me. I want to keep this off (have succeeded so far) and get more exercise too. 

I think that's a fairly rounded set and I'm looking forward to getting stuck into them.

Social engineering? What social engineering?

Absolutely no attempt to be clever about this scam spam. Straight in there asking for personal id details, even though they supposedly already sent me some money? Laughable.

I wish to informed you that your ATM CARD has been credited with the sum total of $1,350,000,00,contact MR JAMES TOUCH,the FedEx co coordinator,with your full name and address with a scan copy of your identity along with your country and phone number to his personal EMAIL,{jame-touch@qatar.io}

Driving routes from England to Scotland (Cambridge to Inverness)

I'm often asked about driving to Scotland - since I do the journey myself pretty often. There are fewer main roads in Scotland which simplifies the choices, but there are still options for distance versus scenery. My main recommendations are presented below, based on a journey from Cambridge to Inverness - which raises the question: do I go East or West?

Option 1: Head West

The most scenic route in my opinion (for the scottish part) is the west - through GLENCOE- i.e. A82... 

My recommended way to take that from is:  (524 miles)

A1 north -> A66 at scotch corner to cut west -> M6/M74 north -> M8 round glasgow -> Erskine bridge -> (A82) Glencoe -> Fort William -> Inverness

Route Map

At the scottish end this is the more interesting route as it goes through Glencoe and past Loch Ness. The English end is basically just motoroway.

Option 2: A9 East Scotland

The M6 is the main motorway up the west of the country - and surprisingly it costs very little in extra miles to cut across to the west then back again. 

Via M6 / A9 (510 Miles)

Route Map

Google suggests this route - which is basically simplest, but also arguably most boring.. The English and lowland Scotland stretch is the same as option 1, but then it takes the A9 (i.e. the eastern side of the highlands) up to Inverness, so is more direct... saves about 15 miles - (amazingly you'd think it would be a lot more.. )

Option 3: Stay entirely East

499 miles

The natural inclination might be to stay East for the whole journey and head towards Edinburgh. Instead of doing that all the way up the A1, it is shorter and quicker and more scenic to cut across country from Newcastle. You CAN go through Northumberland National park which is a very scenic, but quite twisty route... so I tend to skirt round the edge on this route through COLDSTREAM:

Route Map

As you can see - this misses out Glencoe on the west and uses the A9 - i.e. stays East for the whole journey. Consequently it is the shortest route, but still by less than 30 miles...   this is the route I would take if pressed for time and wanting "just to get there" without being too bothered about scenery..

Option 4: The tourist route

535 miles

This is option is if you really want to go past Edinburgh and also do the scenic route through glencoe...  so overall, it probably is THE most scenic route..

This is longest - but picks up Edinburgh, Glencoe and Loch Ness

Route Map

As you can see, timewise and distance wise there is not a whole load in it..

[photos: Nik Sargent]

Driving Tips for Freshers

For students starting university this term, the last thing on their mind is probably driver safety.

But the roads before Fresher’s Week are increasingly filled with students moving their worldly possessions across the country - usually in heavily-laden, small, second-hand cars, raising a number of potential risks; fatigue, view blocking and driving on unfamiliar roads.

The IAM (Institute of Advanced Motorists) has a few tips for those travelling to university this week on how to load all their clothes, books, stereos, TV’s and food, and allow students to kick-start their uni life safely.

• Make sure belongings are securely packed - bear in mind, drivers can face prosecution for travelling with an ‘unsecure load’. More importantly, loose objects can be distracting and if the driver needs to brake sharply, unsecured items could fly forward and hit those sitting in front.
• Loading a car until it’s ready to burst can obstruct the already dangerous ‘blind spot’ view further, making the driver more vulnerable when changing lanes. Loads should be made as small as possible and positioned for a clear view. Students should take essentials on the first trip and ask family to bring more when they visit.
• A long drive can lead to fatigue, so drivers should get plenty of rest beforehand. For the journey, comfortable, loose clothing should be worn, the driving seat should be adjusted to a safe upright position and the heating/air-conditioning set to a cool – not cold – temperature, regular breaks should be taken at least every two hours and driving at night should be avoided.
• Having a full car will use more fuel; keep an eye on the fuel level to ensure it doesn’t run out.
• Check tyre pressures before setting off. Tyres on a full and heavy car usually require higher pressure. The right pressures prevent unnecessary wear, excess fuel consumption and potentially dangerous blow outs.
• Finally, driving on unfamiliar roads can be unnerving. Sat navs can help and enable the driver to re-route quickly and relatively easily, however, they can be expensive so it is best to plan the journey before hitting the road. 

University life is fantastic; students should make sure theirs isn’t postponed by keeping their car safely loaded while driving there.

[source IAM]

Vaxhaull Insignia: Designed to kill you

This car is horrible to drive. 

Through no fault of my own I'm driving a rental Vauxhall Insignia. I wish I wasn't.

It's apparently a "like for like" replacement for my Skoda Octavia vRS. Now, of course, the Skoda's not the most wonderful car on the market - but actually it turns in great JD Power satisfaction results year after year and frankly, is a big-smile-of-joy to drive. 

Not so the Vauxhall. Within 30 seconds I disliked this car. Within 10 minutes I hated it. Let me catalogue a few of the failings.

Ergonomics and usability

I expect to get in a car and figure out to use it in 30 seconds. Consider me new-fashioned but that's the way of the busy modern world. And I design voice user interfaces. 

I can barely begin to catalogue the ergonimic failings of this car - some verging on dangerous. But here are a few:

• Hard to adjust wallowy seat with very hard lumbar support and a bizzare combination of manual and poorly-labelled electric controls. 
• Overloaded with controls of poor design. An example being the "turnable" controls (e.g. for trip computer) on the fingertip stalks. Not only is this type of control hard to location and control accurately (turning motion on the stalk can be prone to operate the stalk in other unintentional directions) but more importantly, you can't fingertip control them - you have to take your hand completely off the wheel to operate. (In contrast, in the Octy, every steering and stalk control can be operated by finger tip).  You can see one such control in the picture below.

I can't decide which of the next two failings are the most ludicrous and/or dangerous.

• First is the console control panel for the audio sytem. A swathe of indistinct plastic which at its biggest is 7 buttons wide by 5 buttons high. Yes, that's right 7 BUTTONS WIDE x 5 BUTTONS HIGH. Why on earth does it need so many buttons? This car doesn't even have extra features like electric seats or bluetooth. And if it does need so many buttons, why do they have to be so unfriendly, badly labelled and hard to navigate by touch.
  You really have to take your eyes off the road to operate this.

• Perhaps the piece de resistance, however, is the insane placement of the gear indication on the automatic gear stalk. When the gears are in use it is completely obsucured from the driver! As a result of this I accidentally selected reverse at one set of traffic lights when I was aiming to select neutral. And there is no indication of the gear the car has selected in the driver's display. The whole set up is dangerous to the point of negligence. I've created a superimposed photo below of the gearstick in two positions, showing how in use it blocks the gear markings. 

Handling 

Woolly and indistinct. You can't really tell how hard you are pressing the brakes, and the steering wheel connects with the road as if through a bungee cord. In fact, it's so like a bungee cord, when you turn a corner the steering is threatening to rip itself out of your hands to return to centre. It actually feels dangerous. Feel the road? No - all I can feel is my heartbeat panicking.

Visibility and Functionality

horrible visibility out the narrow back window, with huge 'C' pillars - made worse by a pointy boot that you can't see the end of. 

Speaking of the boot - it's deep but loses so much width due to needlessly fat rear wings. What makes it worse is the pointed boot lip. But even worse is the non-flat floor. It has so many ridges and "shelves" that it's more like the floor of the Atlantic ocean.

Overall? A triumph of form over function

Installing an iPhone TomTom power cable behind the dashboard

Here's some pictures of how I wired a TomTom iPhone mount behind the dash of a VW Passat.

Note, this didn't involve finding a new power source or wiring to the fuse box. Instead power was taken from the 12v lighter/accessory socket in the ashtray. The actual ashtray was removed (it is designed to be removable) so it can be put back at a later date.

The jack end of the tomtom power cable can be stowed in the ashtray cavity when not in use, with the lid closed - hiding it from view. 

To perform this job requires a couple of tools designed for the job. Ideally you need "dash tools" - these are strong plastic wedge shaped tools that allow you to pop the fascia off the front of the dash. The fascia in all modern cars is just clip on plastic. You also need a suitable star-shaped spanner set - as most car fittings use this form factor. This is used for removing bolted in items such as the ashtray container and air conditioning controls. A set for about £20 is a good investment if you intend working on your car a few times or on several cars. Finally, i also used a "magnamole" - a new invention (as shown on Dragon's Den") of bendy flexible sticks with a magnetic end - very handy for routing and picking up wires in small spaces you can't get your hand.

The tomtom itself is mounted on the dash using the standard suction mount onto a tomtom-supplied sticky disc, designed for the purpose. They cost about £5 for two. (I've also used one to mount a video camera in the rear of my car)

Pictures of the installation follow:

starting the job: dash fascia removed (tools shown on seat)

upper cable routed behind air vents

 This was a bit tricky getting the USB end through the small hole. Ideally I'd have gone through the gap at the side, but it was just too small.

cable routed behind A/C controls to drop down behind lighter socket

This was the bit that needed the Mangamole to pick up the USB cable from behind the lighter power socket. I removed the A/C controls and dropped the rod down behind to grab the metal end of the cable from inside the lower part of the dash.

 Hole drilled in ashtray cavity to route power cable

     Drilling the hole was unavoidable - the ashtray cavity is totally sealed and any attempts to come round/over the side/top prevent the flap from working. However, the actual ashtray has been removed (it's designed to for cleaning/emptying) so the hole is easily covered if the cable is removed and the ashtray replaced.  

finshed job - mounted on a tomtom dash suction plate

The final job is pretty neat and discreet. It avoids those tell-tale suction marks on the windscreen that thieves love and with or without the mount in place is easily covered with a small hat :-)  It is also much safer for driving as there is no risk of the trailing cable getting caught up in anything (gear lever, hand) and the iPhone is in much closer reach of the driver.

The power cable stows neatly in the ashtray when not in use and is plugged into the lighter socket when required.

The positioning of the iPhone tomtom also improves handsfree performance as both speaker and mic are closer to the driver.

Eat, Drink & Be Atkins Compatible

Anyone that's tried a diet will soon enough probably hit some kind of "plateau"  where the weight loss stops. Even if it's not for an extended period, it's still disheartening - so it's important to try and look at the causes and figure out whether you're sticking to your diet plan as closely as you should be.

In the case of Atkins and low carb diets there are various reports that caffeine and artificial sweeteners (namely Aspartame) can contribute to a slow down in weightloss. Certainly when I hit my plateau recently, both those things were still in my diet - probably in raised quantities because I was drinking as a replacement to eating.

Cutting out the caffeine is easy, but cutting out Aspartame is much harder, when natural fruit drinks are out of bounds and most soft diet drinks contain it. However sucralose based sweetener is ok, so the challenge is on to find diet drinks that contain that rather than Aspartame. 

So far my search has thrown up two very palatable options:

• Tesco Diet Dandelion & Burdock
• Tesco Diet Cloudy Lemonade

I thoroughly recommend both drinks and I'm pleased to report my plateau is on the move again :-)

"Low-carb" muffin recipe

I’m really excited to present this recipe - particularly useful for anyone on a low-carb (low carbohydrate) diet such as Atkins. I’ve adapted it (read “improved”) from a recipe I found on a low carb advice website. The measurements given there were in "cups" (is that an American thing?) which seems wholly unscientific and destined to lead to potential failure - I have at least 5 or 6 cup sizes in my cupboard. So, I applied a bit more science and experimentation to come up with some measures that are more accurate.

The recipe is based on "almond flour", sometimes known as "almond meal": though basically it's ground almond. I never knew you could bake with it, but if these come out as they are meant to for you, like me you'll realise you can indeed bake very successfully with almond instead of wheat/flour!

Some notes on modifications to original ingredients

• The original recipe contained salt. After trying it, the cakes were way too salty, so I have eliminated the extra salt. What’s more - I find that when on a low carb regime, I’m far more sensitive to salt. If you want to add it back in, so be it.
• The original recipe suggests that liquid sweetener is preferred - whether this really makes a difference or not, I'm not sure - as these muffins come out just fine with granulated sweetener. Personally I just go for what's simple. 

Ingredients:

• 200g Ground Almond (this is basically your flour)
• 100g dessicated coconut (this is optional - I add it to add sweetness & I like the texture. I think it's worth it!)
• 35g butter - I find regular butter too salty (esp. on Atkins) so I used Tesco "Soft Spread"(which says "perfect for cakes" on the side! - and I agree)
• 4 medium eggs
• 10g of sucralose-based sweetener - e.g. Splenda (though Tesco do their own brand for almost 1/3rd the price) - remember that 10g of this type of sweetener is basically equivalent to 100g of normal sugar. 
• 75mls lemon juice (or you can use water, I guess, but for best flavour go with the lemon)
• 2 teaspoons baking powder

Flavourings/Optional (I add all off these)

 

• half to 1 capful of orange natural extract 
• half to 1 capful vanilla flavour 
• a sprinkling of something like chopped orange/lemon peel which you can buy in small tubs

Of course, you can vary the flavours and quantities to suit your own taste

Instructions

• pre-heat the oven to a temperature 350F / gas mark 4 - 4.5 / 180C
• thoroughly mix all dry ingredients
• thoroughly mix in all wet ingredients
• spoon into the tin and bake - cooking time 15 - 20mins (if done in a mincepie/yorkshire pudding/muffin tray) - e.g tray with 12 individual portions

The recipe above is perfect to make 12 small muffins.
 

If making 12, I estimate the carbohydrate content of each muffin to be approximately 2.2g based on the manufacturers' measures on the raw ingredients and the respective proportions