A list of funny quotes from Homer Simpson

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Since lockdown of the 2020 Covid Pandemic, I started watching every episode of the Simpsons from the beginning. Here are some funny quotes from Homer Simpson

  1. "Marge, it takes two to lie. One to lie and one to listen."

  2. "I'm not a bad guy! I work hard, and I love my kids. So why should I spend half my Sunday hearing about how I'm going to Hell?"

  3. "To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems."

  4. "Hey, how come my beer don't have no alcohol in it?"

  5. "I can't believe I ate the whole thing."

  6. "It's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

  7. "Don't let Krusty's death get you down, boy. People die all the time. Just like that. Why, you could wake up dead tomorrow. Well, good night."

  8. "Son, when you participate in sporting events, it's not whether you win or lose: it's how drunk you get."

  9. "Marge, don't discourage the boy! Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us from the animals! Except the weasel."

  10. "Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way."

  11. "Marge, I'm going to miss you so much. And it's not just the sex. It's also the food preparation."

  12. "I'm sorry, Marge. It's just that, well, I'm an ignorant slob. I thought I could be a farmer, but I was wrong. I'm nothing but a drunken, lazy buffoon."

  13. "Oh, everything's too damned expensive these days. This Bible cost fifteen bucks! And talk about a preachy book! Everywhere I look, 'Thou shalt not.' 'Thou shalt not.' 'Thou shalt not.' It's like they're just trying to give me a guilt complex."

  14. "Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

  15. "Oh, Marge, you're as beautiful as Princess Leia and as smart as Yoda."

  16. "Hey, Marge. I'm a white male, age 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me, no matter how dumb my suggestions are."

  17. "Marge, it's not easy to juggle a pregnant wife and a troubled child, but somehow I managed to fit in eight hours of TV a day."

  18. "Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman - and I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear, which as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing."

"The Simpsons" is a long-running American animated television sitcom created by Matt Groening for the Fox Broadcasting Company. The show follows the life of the Simpson family, consisting of Homer, Marge, Bart, Lisa, and Maggie, who live in the fictional town of Springfield.

Homer Simpson is a lazy, overweight, and often clueless father who works as a safety inspector at the Springfield Nuclear Power Plant. Marge Simpson is a homemaker and the patient and understanding wife of Homer. Bart Simpson is the mischievous and rebellious oldest child of the family, while Lisa is the intelligent and politically aware middle child, and Maggie is the youngest member of the family who communicates through sucking on her dummy (pacifier).

The show is known for its clever humour, satirical commentary on contemporary American society, and memorable characters. It has received widespread critical acclaim and has won numerous awards, including, at the time of writing, 32 Primetime Emmy Awards and a Peabody Award. The show has also had a significant cultural impact and has been referenced in a wide variety of media.

What's in the drink Rusty Nail

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A Rusty Nail is a cocktail made with two types of alcohol: Scotch whisky and Drambuie, which is a liqueur made with Scotch whisky, honey, and various herbs and spices. To make a Rusty Nail, you will need the following ingredients:

  • 2 ounces (60 ml) of Scotch whisky

  • 1 ounce (30 ml) of Drambuie

To prepare the cocktail, fill a mixing glass with ice and add the Scotch whisky and Drambuie. Stir the ingredients together until they are well combined and chilled, then strain the mixture into a rocks glass filled with ice. You can garnish the cocktail with a twist of lemon peel or a cherry, if desired.

The Rusty Nail is a strong and flavorful cocktail that is often enjoyed as an after-dinner drink. It has a sweet, smooth, and slightly spicy flavor, thanks to the honey and herbs in the Drambuie. The combination of Scotch whisky and Drambuie makes for a potent drink, so it is important to drink it responsibly.

A list of the 30 worst movies of all time

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It can be difficult to compile a definitive list of the "worst" movies of all time, as opinions on what makes a movie "good" or "bad" vary widely. Here are 30 movies that have received widespread criticism and low ratings from critics and audiences:

  1. The Room (2003)

  2. Plan 9 from Outer Space (1959)

  3. Troll 2 (1990)

  4. Batman and Robin (1997)

  5. Catwoman (2004)

  6. The Last Airbender (2010)

  7. Gigli (2003)

  8. The Wicker Man (2006)

  9. Jack and Jill (2011)

  10. Battlefield Earth (2000)

  11. Gigli (2003)

  12. The Hottie and the Nottie (2008)

  13. Movie 43 (2013)

  14. Howard the Duck (1986)

  15. The Love Guru (2008)

  16. Epic Movie (2007)

  17. The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)

  18. Mars Needs Moms (2011)

  19. Santa with Muscles (1996)

  20. The Master of Disguise (2002)

  21. The Garbage Pail Kids Movie (1987)

  22. The Happening (2008)

  23. The Lone Ranger (2013)

  24. The Nutcracker in 3D (2010)

  25. The Medallion (2003)

  26. Disaster Movie (2008)

  27. Doogal (2006)

  28. No Holds Barred (1989)

  29. The Bonfire of the Vanities (1990)

  30. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale (2007)

It is important to note that these movies may be considered "bad" by some people, but others may find them entertaining or enjoyable for various

How does the Kia EV6 GT compare to other cars in its class?

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The Kia EV6 GT is a fully electric crossover SUV that is designed to compete with other cars in its class, such as the Tesla Model Y, Audi e-tron, and Mercedes-Benz EQC. Some key features of the Kia EV6 GT include:

  1. Performance: The EV6 GT is powered by a dual electric motor setup that delivers a total of 577 horsepower and 740 pound-feet of torque, making it one of the most powerful EVs in its class. It also has a range of up to 300 miles on a single charge.

  2. Design: The EV6 GT has a sleek and sporty design, with a sloping roofline and distinctive LED headlights and taillights. It also has a spacious and luxurious interior, with high-quality materials and advanced technology features.

  3. Handling: The EV6 GT has a suspension system that has been specifically tuned for electric vehicles, which helps to deliver a smooth and responsive ride. It also has a low center of gravity and a well-balanced weight distribution, which helps to improve handling and stability.

  4. Safety: The EV6 GT has a range of advanced safety features, including autonomous emergency braking, lane-keep assist, and a 360-degree camera system. It also has a strong and rigid body structure that helps to protect occupants in the event of a collision.

Overall, the Kia EV6 GT is a highly competitive car in its class, offering a combination of performance, design, handling, and safety that sets it apart from other electric crossover SUVs.

A list of the top 20 most famous and memorable movie quotes

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Here is a list of 20 famous and memorable movie quotes:

  1. "Here's looking at you, kid." - Casablanca (1942)

  2. "I'm the king of the world!" - Titanic (1997)

  3. "May the force be with you." - Star Wars (1977)

  4. "Go ahead, make my day." - Sudden Impact (1983)

  5. "I'll be back." - The Terminator (1984)

  6. "You can't handle the truth!" - A Few Good Men (1992)

  7. "You had me at hello." - Jerry Maguire (1996)

  8. "I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse." - The Godfather (1972)

  9. "I'm the ghost with the most, babe." - Beetlejuice (1988)

  10. "Say hello to my little friend." - Scarface (1983)

  11. "There's no place like home." - The Wizard of Oz (1939)

  12. "E.T. phone home." - E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982)

  13. "Show me the money!" - Jerry Maguire (1996)

  14. "Bond. James Bond." - Dr. No (1962)

  15. "As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again." - Gone with the Wind (1939)

  16. "My precious." - The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002)

  17. "Hasta la vista, baby." - Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

  18. "I am serious...and don't call me Shirley." - Airplane! (1980)

  19. "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you're gonna get." - Forrest Gump (1994)

  20. "I'm the greatest thing that ever happened to salmon!" - The Princess Bride (1987)

Remember, of course, this is just a list of 20 that could be 2000 long, so you may think of others that are not covered here. My own child suggested “We’re gonna need a bigger boat” (Jaws) for example. :)

There are many other famous movie quotes that could be included on this list. These are just a few examples of the memorable lines that have become iconic in the world of film. 

Reasons why Brexit was a good or bad idea

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Brexit refers to the United Kingdom's decision to leave the European Union (EU). The decision to leave the EU was a controversial one, and there are arguments both for and against it. Here are some possible reasons why Brexit might be seen as a good or bad idea: 

Reasons why Brexit might be seen as a good idea: 

  • Sovereignty: Some people argue that leaving the EU allows the UK to have greater control over its own affairs and to make its own decisions without being subject to the rules and regulations of the EU. 

  • Immigration: Some people believe that leaving the EU will allow the UK to have more control over its borders and to reduce the number of people coming into the country. 

  • Trade: Some people believe that leaving the EU will allow the UK to negotiate its own trade deals with other countries and to have more flexibility in its trade policy. 

Reasons why Brexit might be seen as a bad idea: 

  • Economic impact: Some people believe that leaving the EU will have negative economic consequences for the UK, such as lower trade with EU countries, less investment, and slower economic growth. 

  • Loss of cooperation: Some people believe that leaving the EU will reduce the UK's ability to cooperate with other countries on issues such as security, climate change, and economic policy. 

  • Divisions: The Brexit process has been divisive in the UK, and some people believe that it has contributed to increased tensions and divisions within the country. 

The best way to clean a non-stick pan without damaging it

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I’ve ruined a few non-stick pans in my youth. Putting them in the dishwasher is the worst possible.

Eventually I got to soaking them for a while so that most of any burnt-on food comes off and then cleaning softly. But even then, I found they never really lasted as well as I expected. Let’s assume too that we’re not doing the obvious bad things like using metal utensils.

But eventually I found the best way to preserve the life of a teflon or ceramic non-stick pan, and it’s as follows:

  • clean it with a silicone ‘brush’ (something like this https://amzn.to/39WqoVU )

  • as soon as you have finished cooking,let it cool and bit and clean it as soon after as you can - do NOT shock it with cold water to cool it

  • do NOT add any soap or fill it with water and leave to stand

  • instead, use the oils that are the pan, along with your silicone brush, to wipe round and and round and remove any food debris, while running under the tap

  • any oil in the pan will help to smooth the rubbing action and also leave a small amount of protection on the surface

  • keep going under the running tap until you are clear of oil and food - and particularly stubborn caramelised food remnants can be scraped off with your finger nail or a magic eraser (gently) [ e.g. https://amzn.to/4dhRd6p ]

  • if after this there is still a film of oil in the pan, then NOW is the time to use a small amount of washing up liquid to remove it

  • HOWEVER, used a VERY small amount, literally a drop, swish it round the pan with your brush away from the tap, then continue to brush while you run the pan under the tap. In a few seconds you should be clear of any oil/soap lather

  • leave to dry, job done!

  • The surface of your pan will be immaculate and suffered minimal abrasion - maintaining its life to the maximum extent possible

What a load of junk (aka what goes in what bin for Dumfries & Galloway recycling collection)

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unsplash-image-YzSZN3qvHeo.jpg

It’s 2021, and finally Dumfries and Galloway council are fully launching recycling collections, after lagging behind the rest of the country by 10-15 years (nearly a decade ago, I was having my recycling collected in Cambridgeshire.)

As far back as 2000, Friends-of-the-Earth started campaigning for a recycling bill that eventually came to fruition in 2003.

Yet, a survey conducted by Which in 2019 showed that almost a third of people were/are still confused about getting the right recycling in the right bin.

Frankly, that comes as no surprise when, for example, you discover that different items of glass have to be disposed of in up to 3 different ways.

Dumfries and Galloway have not helped themselves in this respect, providing a list of around 180 waste items on their A-Z which is not readily sortable or printable.

In response to this, I’ve reorganised those items into a spreadsheet that you can more easily make sense of and re-purpose as you see fit. (List correct at May 2021)

Here’s the link: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/142T3UmXyKuGRDYX1C8HUnUPHhSLBqjYRJRZ551aWcDw/edit?usp=sharing

You could, for example, print this out, cut out each column, laminate it and stick it on your bin(s) :)



List of official Star Wars movies with age rating / film classification

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UPDATE: Why not try my new custom GPT designed specifically to help you navigate age ratings for family movies?

Movie Maestro: Family Flick Finder https://chat.openai.com/g/g-5Fqi5FLVK-movie-maestro-family-flick-finder

Let me know if it works for you and what can be improved.

694px-Star_Wars_Logo.svg.png

For my son’s 8th birthday I decided to introduce him to the Star Wars franchise. I saw the original when it was released and it was the first movie i ever saw. I was also a little younger than him at the time, so I figured he’d be ok to watch at least some of the series. He loved it.

The biggest problem, however, is easily finding the age ratings/classifications for movies all in one place. Of course, IMDB has ratings but doesn’t make it easy, with issues such as not showing in compact view and not having lists in one place (if you search for star wars movies, using advanced search, you still get 60 movies listed!)

So, I’ve pulled this basic list together for the benefit of other parents. You’ll see that the ratings start off suitable for younger viewers, but as the movies get more modern, the rating goes up. This is very typical, if not a little disappointing too. However, you can certainly get up to 5 out of 9 of the movies with younger viewers, even if they may not understand the subtlety and interplay of them all.

Details of these movies, such as director, writer etc. are given on the relevant wikipedia page. However, what you won’t get there is the film classification / age rating. That’s why I’ve produced this list so you can easily see how suitable each film is for your kids.

What order should I watch Star Wars in?

You may not know the context to these movies, but they were written as a group of trilogies, and the second group of three was filmed first. So this basically means episode 4/5/6 were the first movies to be released. Then they went “back in time” to make episodes 1/2/3 next.

This begs the question as to what order to view them in. I was advised by an avid fan to watch them in the order they were made, and I have to say, that has been very satisfactory. After all, that’s the order that the general viewing audience has seen them, and it also means things like special effects develop according to the technology of the time. It’s also the case that the younger ratings apply to the earlier movies.

Episode IV - A New Hope

Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back

Episode VI – Return of the Jedi

Episode I – The Phantom Menace

Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Episode III – Revenge of the Sith

Episode VII – The Force Awakens

Episode VIII – The Last Jedi

Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker

Star Wars movies in order of production, with year and age classification (UK & US)

Title UK Rating/Genre US Rating
Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) U | 121 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG
Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) U | 124 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) U | 131 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG
Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) U | 136 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG
Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) PG | 142 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG
Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) 12A | 140 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG-13
Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) 12A | 138 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi PG-13
Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017) 12A | 152 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG-13
Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) 12A | 141 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy PG-13

1. Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (1977) : U | 121 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy | WATCH

2. Star Wars: Episode V - The Empire Strikes Back (1980) : U | 124 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

3. Star Wars: Return of the Jedi (1983) : U | 131 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

4.  Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace (1999) : U | 136 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

5. Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones (2002) : PG | 142 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

6. Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith (2005) : 12A | 140 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

7. Star Wars: Episode VII - The Force Awakens (2015) : 12A | 138 min | Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi

8. Star Wars: Episode VIII - The Last Jedi (2017) : 12A | 152 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

9. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (2019) ; 12A | 141 min | Action, Adventure, Fantasy

Should I let my child watch these? An explanation of the ratings.

You’ll see there is a broad correlation between the UK and US ratings for the movies. U and PG map to PG, and 12A maps to PG-13. IN short, the US has a slightly more cautious certification.

“U” is universal in the UK, i.e. no rating, so we started watching Star Wars (A New Hope) at age 8, as I had done when it was released all those decades ago! Most of the older rating comes from the violence (i.e. light saber fights and deaths, explosions etc) not from profanity, nudity etc. In essence the movies are almost entirely about intergalactic politics and fighting!

After we had watched up to Attack of the Clones (the last PG) we held off on the others (12A), and have finally watched them at age 11. The 12 and 12A rating in the UK is a little confusing. A 12 means age 12, and a 12-year-old could wander into a cinema alone to see the movie. However, a UK 12A means you can watch younger than 12 if accompanied by an adult - so it’s a bit stronger than PG but still leaves room for parental discretion. It also means a 10 or 11 year-old could be accompanied by an adult to see it.

Frankly, the rating is really all about the fighting/violence. As it is not dark/sadistic, but has a fantastical element (e.g. the weapons are fantasy, there is no blood), it gets the 12A rating. Also, there is no real lingering - so while there may be a death, it’s over in a split second and the movie moves on, and I have tended to find that reading descriptions in advance has made the stronger content seem more significant than it really is in the moment.

The way I looked at it, my child had basically seen equivalent violence in PG Bond movies (I always recall the bloke who ends up going through the snow-blower) and other parts of Star Wars (including the myriad of memes). In the end I don’t think it was an issue (other than any violence is an issue) and I do not feel it was an error of judgement. So, at age 11, all the movies have been watched.

If you want a more detailed analysis, why not try asking my customGPT built for the purpose. It was the challenge with unpicking all this information that made me build it, and it was it’s answers for the last 4 movies that convinced me to go ahead and watch them as a family. https://chat.openai.com/g/g-5Fqi5FLVK-movie-maestro-family-flick-finder

Additional Commentary from my 11 Year old

My son wanted to add his own perspective and review; this is what he wrote. Note that he has written it as if he is an adult certifier, not just a child viewer, so has tried to adopt a “grown up” persona. When I asked him to clarify “disturbing” he meant scary for the youngest children.

  • IV - PG because of mildy gruesome scenes (hand gets chopped, skeletons visible)

  • Empire Strikes Back - PG because hands getting chopped off and mild violence

  • ROJ - PG - because of fighting and characters that might be considered disturbing.

  • TPM - PG - because of action fighting in many scenes, gruesome moments such as a creatures head being eaten and disturbing alien characters

  • AOC - PG/12A on point of view - large battles with disturbing monsters, many examples of action violence and lots of romance

  • ROS [REVENGE OF SITH] - 12 - lot of fighting and violence such as duels, head being chopped of, gruesome murder and also romance covering mild adult topics. gruesome scenes such as grapically burnt man and people with disturbing skin

  • TFA - 12A - lots of fighting and deaths seen, creepy monster which is quite disturbing and graphic battles

  • TLA - 12A - fighting and battles, sad and chilling stories, gruesome deaths and people and nudity [low]

  • ROS [RISE OF SKYWALKER] - 12A/12 on point of view - a lot of battles and fighting with high violence such as graphic duels, graphic injuries shown and a character could be considered disturbing

[IF YOU WANT MORE DETAILS - VIST IMDB, OVER MOVIE SITES OR WOOKIPEDIA, A STAR WARS FAN BASED VERSION OF WIKIPEDIA FOUND ON FANDOM]