An Alphabetic Plot Poem for Moby Dick

There are several reasons why a reader may want to read "Moby Dick" by Herman Melville:

• Literary Significance: "Moby Dick" is considered one of the greatest works of American literature, with its vivid and complex characters, symbolic themes, and richly detailed setting. It has influenced numerous writers and artists, and continues to be studied and celebrated today.

• Adventure and Suspense: The story of "Moby Dick" follows the hunt for a massive and elusive white whale, and is full of thrilling action and suspenseful moments. It can be a thrilling and exciting read for those who enjoy adventure stories.

• Exploration of Human Nature: The book also explores themes such as obsession, revenge, morality, and the struggle between good and evil. It raises questions about the human condition and our place in the natural world, making it a thought-provoking and intellectually stimulating read.

• Historical Context: The book was written in the mid-19th century and offers a glimpse into the world of whaling and seafaring during that time. It also touches on issues such as race, class, and imperialism, providing historical and social context for the modern reader.

Overall, "Moby Dick" offers readers a complex and thought-provoking literary experience, filled with adventure, suspense, and richly drawn characters.

Ahab's anger boiled, consuming his soul

Beneath the waves lay his ultimate goal

Crew and ship embarked on the chase

Dangerous waters, a perilous race

Every man knew the risks they faced

For Moby Dick, Ahab's heart raced

Grueling days turned to endless nights

Hopeful for victory, avoiding frights

Ishmael, the narrator, watched in awe

Journeying to the depths without a flaw

Killer whales attacked with vengeance

Leviathan's force became a hindrance

Madness overtook Ahab's mind

No mercy for the whale he sought to find

Overboard he fell, into the deep

Pain and regret, a fate he could not keep

Quenched was Moby Dick's thirst for hate

Resting in peace, no longer a fate

Silent waves washed away the scars

Tragedy left, under the stars

Underwater, the remains did rest

Voyage of life, put to the test

Whispers in the wind, tales to tell

Xenophilic nature, a watery cell

Years have passed, the legend stays

Zealous hearts, longing for the chase

And in the end, the ocean wins

But the story of Moby Dick never ends.

A Scottish Poem about Mince and Tatties

Here's a short poem in Scottish dialect, about enjoying mince and tatties:

Mince an' tatties, mince an' tatties,
Haudin' us warm on a cauld winter's nicht.
A dish sae humble, yet sae richt,
Fillin' oor bellies, makin' us bricht.

Mince an' tatties, mince an' tatties,
Nae need for fancy, jist pure delight.
A comfortin' meal, aye juist right,
Tae end a lang day, an' mak it a' richt.

Mince an' tatties, mince an' tatties,
A simple pleasure, aye sae grand.
A taste o' hame, aye in demand,
A traditional treat, aye in oor land.

Mince an' tatties, mince an' tatties,
A dish sae Scottish, aye sae true.
Nae matter the weather, aye aye, it'll do,
Aye tae warm oor hearts, an' see us through.

Please note that this is a simple poem and it is not a perfect representation of Scottish dialect, and the usage may vary depending on the region

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Here's a translation of the Scottish words used in the poem:

• "Tatties" - Potatoes

• "Mince" - Minced meat (ground meat)

• "Cauld" - Cold

• "Nicht" - Night

• "Sae" - So

• "Richt" - Right

• "Fancy" - Elaborate

• "Comfortin'" - Comforting

• "Lang" - Long

• "Hame" - Home

• "Aye" - Yes

• "Grand" - Great

• "Scottish" - From Scotland

• "True" - Authentic

• "Weather" - Climate

• "Oor" - Our

• "Hearts" - Hearts

The poem is talking about how comforting and satisfying a meal of mince and potatoes can be, especially on a cold winter night. It also emphasizes on how this dish is simple, traditional and true to Scotland.

A different take on Mamma Mia

It’s been so long since I wrote here and looking back it seems I was mainly last inspired by the forthcoming arrival of my child. It (almost) seems appropriate, then, that I should share a work of art created jointly with him at the fond age of 6.

We’ve absolutely ruined ABBA’s “Mamma Mia” lyrics with an unholy amount of toilet humour; our rewrite is called “Diarrhoea”, to the tune, of course, of Mamma Mia.
We’ve stuck as closely as we possibly could to the original words/rhymes and form of the song (which was an absolute gift, as it happens).

Diarrhoea

I've been churned up by you since a quarter to ten

Chicken vindaloo, it was never my friend

Look at my bowels, will I ever learn?

I don't know how but I suddenly lose control

There's a fire within my bowl

Just one flush  won’t get rid of this thing

One more push and I'll just lose everything - ohohoh

Diarrhoea, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Diarrhoea, need to go again

My my, don’t run out of tissue

Yesterday the cramps had started

Devastation as my cheeks parted

Why, why did I ever let that go?

Diarrhoea, now I really know,

That’s why, I should never let you go

I've been angry and sad about the state of my loo

I can't count all the times that I've followed through 

And when I go, I need to lock the door

I think you know I'll be in here way too long 

You know that the smell's so strong

Just one flush, won’t get rid of this thing.

One more push and I could lose everything,   ohohohoh

Diarrhoea, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Diarrhoea, need to go again

My my, don't run out of tissue

Yesterday the cramps had started

Devastation as my cheeks parted

Why, why did I ever let that go?

Diarrhoea, even if I'm brave

I cry, leave my bowels empty

Diarrhoea, take me to my grave

I cry, don't you think that’s plenty?

Diarrhoea, here I go again

My my, how can I resist you?

Diarrhoea, need to go again

My my, don’t run out of tissue

Yesterday the cramps had started

Followed through last time I farted

Why, why did I ever let that go?

Diarrhoea, now I really know

that’s why, I should never let you go